17th Kartik 2078, Wednesday
AGE OF CONFUSION (13 Years-20 Years Old Children)
Age is the amount of time during which someone or something has lived or existed. In anyone’s
life the age from 13 years to 20 years is very crucial time. It is the age of adolescence which is the
phase of life between childhood and adulthood, from ages 10 to 19. It is a unique stage of human
development and an important time for laying the foundations of good health. Adolescents
experience rapid physical, cognitive and psychosocial growth. As we know raising a teenager is
hart but, being a teenager is hard too, which is why our kids need someone they trust to lean on, to
come to for advice and to share their lives- the good, the bad and the ugly. Having a front row seat
in our kid’s lives is a far better place to be than sitting on the highest bleacher. Sometime, we
forget that when our kids become teenagers their needs change. We forget that the closed doors,
the eye rolls, the heavy signs and the “whatever’s” are kids who really need us, but don’t know
how to express it. We forget that, more than anything, they need us to take the time to understand
their word.
As teens get older, they tend to want more privacy. They may even share less information with
parents that they did before. Teens need the freedom to make their own plans, choose their own
friends, and think their own thoughts. This distance between parent and their children can cause
parents feel insecure at times. Complaining that life is too hard. Losing sleep worrying about tests
or school work. These all are the signs that teen could be stresses out. This is the age where teens
are trying to become a separate person from the very people who have controlled almost every
aspect of their lives so far. By this age, many teens have their own social media accounts and
they’re able to communicate with their friends privately. For some teens, this provides a sense of
relief as they often talk to their friends in a slightly different manner than they speak to their
parents. For other 13-year-olds, electronic communication means added pressure. They may eel
compelled to join in conversations to be accepted by their peers or they may feel as though their
friends are having more fun than they are when they view social media pictures. It’s common for
13-year-olds to think they are immune from anything bad happening to them. As a result, they
become more likely to engage in risky behavior. They may also think they are unique and think
no one understands them. Under peer pressure they may be involved in smoking, drinking alcohol
or involve in taking drug. Since they are not mature enough at this age to take right decision about
life. They just imitate other to look smart in front of other without caring about the things they do
and behavior they show. At this age the children have more faith and trust on their peers instead
of their own parents which is the main weakness of this age children. Most 13-year-olds
communicate similarly to adults. They comprehend abstract language, such as figurative language
and metaphors. They may become less literal and more figurative. They are likely to recognize
that breaking rules under certain conditions isn’t always wrong. While 13-year-olds have fairly
good problem-solving skills, they also have difficulty thinking about the future. During this age
many children start to imitate movies action and adult peoples and try to be like them and involved
in action like making girlfriend or boyfriend, being attracted to opposite sex for love and physical
or sexual relations which are somehow bad for their mental health and upcoming future.
Most
teens feel good about themselves one day and feel extremely inadequate another day. They have
different mind swings according to the environment where they are. While mood swings are
usually normal, it’s important to keep an eye out for mental health problems. Depression, anxiety
and other mental health issues may emerge during this time. At this age, most teens feel like that
the world revolves around them. They might think everyone is staring them or they may assume
everyone else’s behavior is somehow because of them (for example, thinking their friend didn’t
text back because they are mad rather than assuming the friend is busy). Teen’s desire increased
independence from their parents. 13-year-olds relay more on friendship. They confide in their
peers more than family. Teens have many struggles in this age like they stuck between childhood
and adulthood. Mood swing, parent lectures, feelings pressured about future, first crush, first kiss,
first heart break, friend drama, academic pressure, caring what other think, peer pressure as a whole
new level, etc. This is the age where children are more confused. They are not able to take right
decision at right time but they think themselves as a superior and act like they can do anything
alone. They have much attitude and aggression to do anything. They don’t think about long term
happiness. Teens of this age group trust anyone easily. They spend valuable time in useless things
like in mobile phones, playing games, surfing on internet. They are short tempered at this age.
They take wrong decision for their future because they do not consult with parent and depends on
their peer much. They don’t want to hear their parents’ good advice.
Parents should understand the feelings of their children and provide then with positive advice and
react positively to the action of their children. Parent should never tolerate continued disrespect
from their children. Remind them that they can state their opinions, dissatisfactions, and
disagreements in a normal tone with respectful words. It is completely acceptable to tell their
children that they are not allowed to say “I hate you.” One of the biggest responsibilities of
parenthood is helping to mold your teen into a responsible, caring adult. Sometimes the result is
that your teen does not like you but that is ok. It is normal for them to disagree with what you do
or think. It is even normal for then to act like your thoughts or actions are unbearable. It is very
important that you be a parent first and focus on guiding your teen into doing what is right in the
world around them. Every time your teen responds with rude word or seems put off by your very
existence, remind yourself that this is a normal part of teen development. Take deep breath and
then respond positively and remind them that they are hurting the other people. While all children
develop at slightly different rates, it’s important to keep an eye on how your children is processing.
Parents should be direct with their child when talking about sensitive issues, like drinking,
smoking, drugs, and sex. In order for your teen to see you as credible, acknowledge the slight
upside that tempts teens to try these things. Say something like, Kids usually think they are more
fun when they are drinking alcohol,” and then explain the consequences and its bad effects on
one’s life. Dating and romantic relationships often become important during early teen years. It’s
normal for teen to develop sexual interests Some time teens try to shock their parents or want to
dress or wear their hair in new ways to express themselves. So, during this time parents should
understand their children’s feelings and act positively by making them comfortable and then
provide positives vibes in their minds about the different things and tell them about the effects of
sexual interest on their mind at this age and tell them about correct age of everything for what to
do and what not to do. Bringing up any difficult subjects with your teen can feel uncomfortable
and teen isn’t likely to respond well to a lengthy lecture or too many direct questions. So, have a
conversation sweetly and softly and need not to shy to talk to children on talking about difficult
issues. Even when it like they are not listening, you are the most influential person in your teen’s
life. It is important to lay a strong foundation before the window of opportunity closes. A good
way to strike up a conversation about drugs, sex, juuling, or other uncomfortable situations is to
ask a question like, “Do you think this is a big issue at your school?” Listen to what your teen has
to say. Try not to be judgmental, but make your expectations and opinion clear. And the most
important thing is that do not compare your children with other’s children because it creates sense
of jealousy and negative mindset in your children. Facebook, Instagram and Twitter can be great
ways for teens to connect with one another; but social media can be problematic for several
reasons. For instance, social media can expose your teen to cyberbullying, slut-shaming, and so
much more. And while there are some benefits to social media, there are a lot of risks as well.
Social media can have negative impact on friendship and in changing the way teens date. It can
even impact their mental health. But no matter what precautions you take, teens are still likely to
be exposed to unsavory people, unhealthy images, and sexual content online. While there are
measures being put into the place to reduce the risks kind face online, its important for parents to
get involved. Help your teen learn how to navigate social media in a healthy way. And most
importantly, know what your teen is doing online. Educate yourself about the latest apps, websites,
and social media pages teens are using and take steps to keep your safe. Parents should act like a
friend to their children so that their children get comfortable and can talk freely about their
problems with them. But parents should not be rude with their children if they did something wrong
woks. Instead of this they should talk politely and should explain the negative effect of doing bad
works. They should treat their children very well and provide positive and useful information’s so
that their children can get success in their life. Children should not be beaten or threatened rather
should be treated with politely
I have also passed this age so I have experience how teens think and behave during this stage
of life. I get full support from my parents during this age. They teach me everything in very
positive manner and provide advice how to deal with the problems of life. They always supported
me and became friendly with me. They understood my feelings and behave accordingly. They
provide be much knowledge how to get success in life. So, I request every parent to understand
their children, their feelings and behave politely and positively to the action of their children and
provide them with good advice to change their life and get success in life.
Article writer: Rakshya Marasini
Studied at Prithivi Narayan Campus, Pokhara Student of B.Sc. (General Biology), 2nd Year
Address: Putalibazar-3, Syangja
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